Just a quick one. Spent the day trying to rest up and dragging child #1 all over to the doctor. He is still sick. Thought it was Mono. All the signs point to that except the test is negative. Red ear though, so at least she put him on abx. I don't know if it will help, but the poor young man probably had the worst night of his life last night with bone chilling rigors (chills)--shaking the couch and teeth chattering.
I felt like crying for him. I laid next to him on the couch and wrapped him in towels and blankets and tried to give him my body heat and it did not work. Only as his fever climbed higher, did he get any relief from the chills. Yeah and then it was 102.9 and I was just about to take him to the ER when it broke and then he was able to eat and drink a bit and then he crashed. I crawled in bed about 5 minutes before my alarm went off. So needless to say, I did not go to work today. I will have to r/s my class too but hey, my kid comes first. Most definitely!
Spent some quality time with my daughter tonight. She went with me to the mall for B and B for body wash and the lotion that we like so much...mmmmmm cherry blossoms...mmmmm! We also went to VS for a few things as I had a coupon for a free item. Good girl's time though!
Ok, so I sent it off today. The DT email. I guess it can't be undone now. I don't want it to be. I would love it if I got it. I think it is a great site. A great site! Wonderful store. I usually check there first, before I order from other places, cause she usually has what I am looking for. I am trying to be positive. The worst case scenario is that I have my Mother and Father's day cards done and 4 awesome layouts to post in my gallery. If I get the spot, I will so pleased. What an awesome opportunity! Can't wait for May 5, 2008!
I got some Label Tulip goodness in the mail this weekend. Yummy, excellent goodness! Have not had a chance to play with it, but I have it all set for this weekend while I relax. Hopefully DS will be better so there are happy good feeling kids around again. So looking forward to some serious scrapping for this weekend. Can't wait. Got to head to bed though. DH is staying home with the kid tomorrow. I just cannot fathom him going through what he went through last night all alone tomorrow without anyone there. So DH has to be the one this time. DS may be almost 15, but he should not go through that alone. I so pray that he gets through this sooner rather then later. Adios! Love and hugs!
Monday, April 28, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
flying under the radar and why that is nice
Been feeling a lot of pressure lately. Usually at work, I can just come in, do my job, take care of my patients and go home. Besides feeling like I could work until 8 pm every night, I am feeling the pressure to be as good as people think I am. Let me explain. I do a good job at what I do. I am nurturing and a problem solver and am ingenious at finding ways to get things done in a system that is saran-wrapped in red tape that is the federal government.
Ok, so here is the thing. And it is big, to me. Ever since I found out that I was nominated for that award, I have been feeling pressure. To be as good as people must think I am because they nominated me ( and I must point out, that I do not know which coworker(s) did so). So I am making myself crazy trying to be amenable and flexible to everyone. Now granted, I am usually that way but now I feel I must keep it up at all times, so that those who shall not be named (and unknown to me), do not regret putting their nomination out there. That is messed up in my mind. I should continue doing what I do, as I do it, have been doing it, because that is what they saw in me in the first place.
So here I am, trying, trying to just be like I am, but I find myself walking taller, trying to be kinder, gentler, more flexible, anyway. And then on top of it, my boss is trying to write me up for a Nurse III--which is hard to get with a BAN, you almost have to have a Master's Degree to get this and she seems to think that she sees evidence that I am performing at that level. So here is more pressure. AND, now she writes my proficiency to say that I am outstanding in all degrees in my performance. So what am I griping about? If I get it, it means that I get a sizable raise and a whole lot of other doors open for me. So where is the gripe? They always say that the majority of people who are performing well are not recognized for their accomplishments, so why am I complaining?
I guess that is what I am trying to figure out. I think it stems from the fact that I am my own worst critic and that I still believe that deep down, I am not worth it. But to be truthful, I know that I have been working towards this moment for a long time. I have pushed myself to become a respected part of our facility. I am not a ladder climber. I have not squashed people on my way up the steps either. I pride myself on good patient care and all that that entails, including making the processes better. That is how I got here and I do not have anything to regret or feel guilty about. I just need to adjust to this. I know that I am afraid of getting a big head though. Why should I worry? Well, I kind of keep thinking about my weight loss as part of it. People take me more seriously now. They look at me more. When I was overweight, I could fly under the radar, and now all the sudden, people actually see me and it makes me nervous. I know I look better and more healthy everyday, even in my mind.
I am just scared to get a "she thinks she's all that" complex. I am not. I am perhaps the most humble person I know. And yet, here I am bringing this all out in the open. Well, besides the fact that there is only one or two people who actually read this, I find that that this is a good forum for me to put my thoughts out in a logical way. Perhaps I can type myself into a answer. Or not, but at least I have organized my thoughts for now. When computers were young, my dad had this psychology counseling program. You typed in your problem and the computer prompted you with openended questions until you got out what was bothering you...you know...and how does THAT make you feel...what ELSE can you tell me about this...can you give EXAMPLES...and so on. So this is my therapy. Sure wish I got paid $50/hr to counsel myself, I'd be rich. LOL.
SO I guess I will leave off with these words of inspiration...NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE! =O) Love and hugs!
Ok, so here is the thing. And it is big, to me. Ever since I found out that I was nominated for that award, I have been feeling pressure. To be as good as people must think I am because they nominated me ( and I must point out, that I do not know which coworker(s) did so). So I am making myself crazy trying to be amenable and flexible to everyone. Now granted, I am usually that way but now I feel I must keep it up at all times, so that those who shall not be named (and unknown to me), do not regret putting their nomination out there. That is messed up in my mind. I should continue doing what I do, as I do it, have been doing it, because that is what they saw in me in the first place.
So here I am, trying, trying to just be like I am, but I find myself walking taller, trying to be kinder, gentler, more flexible, anyway. And then on top of it, my boss is trying to write me up for a Nurse III--which is hard to get with a BAN, you almost have to have a Master's Degree to get this and she seems to think that she sees evidence that I am performing at that level. So here is more pressure. AND, now she writes my proficiency to say that I am outstanding in all degrees in my performance. So what am I griping about? If I get it, it means that I get a sizable raise and a whole lot of other doors open for me. So where is the gripe? They always say that the majority of people who are performing well are not recognized for their accomplishments, so why am I complaining?
I guess that is what I am trying to figure out. I think it stems from the fact that I am my own worst critic and that I still believe that deep down, I am not worth it. But to be truthful, I know that I have been working towards this moment for a long time. I have pushed myself to become a respected part of our facility. I am not a ladder climber. I have not squashed people on my way up the steps either. I pride myself on good patient care and all that that entails, including making the processes better. That is how I got here and I do not have anything to regret or feel guilty about. I just need to adjust to this. I know that I am afraid of getting a big head though. Why should I worry? Well, I kind of keep thinking about my weight loss as part of it. People take me more seriously now. They look at me more. When I was overweight, I could fly under the radar, and now all the sudden, people actually see me and it makes me nervous. I know I look better and more healthy everyday, even in my mind.
I am just scared to get a "she thinks she's all that" complex. I am not. I am perhaps the most humble person I know. And yet, here I am bringing this all out in the open. Well, besides the fact that there is only one or two people who actually read this, I find that that this is a good forum for me to put my thoughts out in a logical way. Perhaps I can type myself into a answer. Or not, but at least I have organized my thoughts for now. When computers were young, my dad had this psychology counseling program. You typed in your problem and the computer prompted you with openended questions until you got out what was bothering you...you know...and how does THAT make you feel...what ELSE can you tell me about this...can you give EXAMPLES...and so on. So this is my therapy. Sure wish I got paid $50/hr to counsel myself, I'd be rich. LOL.
SO I guess I will leave off with these words of inspiration...NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE! =O) Love and hugs!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
caregiving
Just a quick little blurb. Got called by #1 child this afternoon...in the nurse's office at school. Now I know he is sick. They do not let these kids out of school unless they are half dead. He was sick on Tuesday with a fever and sore throat. Thought it was a virus. But, it is most likely mono. Yay. Poor kid.
I know he does not get enough sleep, eat right or get enough sleep. Need I say more. Perhaps the NP got somewhere with him this time. He is resting right now and he even took the vitamins that I have been trying to get him to take. He has also won his right to a day away from school, and get this...he does not want to miss out...that is what makes me worried about how sick he is. His fever is pretty high, and he is taking advil every 4-6hrs so that helps.
#2 child is doing ok. We went to Target yesterday and got her a CD player alarm clock and some relaxation CD's so that she can sleep better. She reports that she is pretty down right now and I know that she is not sleeping real well these days so hopefully that will help her out. I hear her right now, flipping through the selections. She really likes the waves and ocean one we got her, and we got her rain and thunder and then 2 Celtic relaxation and sleep CD's. They are pretty good. I really like the Celtic sound. So does DH. We listened to one of the CD's last night on the way home and he said "we better stop listening, I could get to relaxed and fall asleep while driving". It was relaxing.
I guess that is all. I have been playing around on the computer, putting together an email for a contest that I am entering. Yes, I am going to try to enter that design team contest for an online scrapbook store. I am pretty excited about it. It is the first time that I have done this but I have some great layouts that I am proud of and am excited to share. I am sure that the competition is pretty strong for these spots and I wish all that try out the best of wishes. I will be excited to see what happens!
Tomorrow is Friday. Yay! Eventhough I fear I will be working late at the hospital as I had to leave in a hurry to pick #2 child up and take him to the doctor. Tomorrow will bring what tomorrow will bring. Love and hugs.
I know he does not get enough sleep, eat right or get enough sleep. Need I say more. Perhaps the NP got somewhere with him this time. He is resting right now and he even took the vitamins that I have been trying to get him to take. He has also won his right to a day away from school, and get this...he does not want to miss out...that is what makes me worried about how sick he is. His fever is pretty high, and he is taking advil every 4-6hrs so that helps.
#2 child is doing ok. We went to Target yesterday and got her a CD player alarm clock and some relaxation CD's so that she can sleep better. She reports that she is pretty down right now and I know that she is not sleeping real well these days so hopefully that will help her out. I hear her right now, flipping through the selections. She really likes the waves and ocean one we got her, and we got her rain and thunder and then 2 Celtic relaxation and sleep CD's. They are pretty good. I really like the Celtic sound. So does DH. We listened to one of the CD's last night on the way home and he said "we better stop listening, I could get to relaxed and fall asleep while driving". It was relaxing.
I guess that is all. I have been playing around on the computer, putting together an email for a contest that I am entering. Yes, I am going to try to enter that design team contest for an online scrapbook store. I am pretty excited about it. It is the first time that I have done this but I have some great layouts that I am proud of and am excited to share. I am sure that the competition is pretty strong for these spots and I wish all that try out the best of wishes. I will be excited to see what happens!
Tomorrow is Friday. Yay! Eventhough I fear I will be working late at the hospital as I had to leave in a hurry to pick #2 child up and take him to the doctor. Tomorrow will bring what tomorrow will bring. Love and hugs.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
computer savvy?
I scrapped today. Not as much as I would like but some. I had some fun with the Cuttlebug die I just bought. It the cutest little 2 part butterfly that you have ever seen. I cut up a bunch of scraps and just played with them. I took a picture so hopefully I can add those to this site. How fun would that be. Again, here is the computer savvy. Oh, look, I added them at the top of the post. They are there. Aren't they cute! I think I am addicted to butterflies these days. Love these!
I have been creative today though. I made a bunch of cards for the garage sale at my son's school and for conferences. They want to raise another 231 dollars for the kids to go see Tikal (ancient Mayan ruins in Guatemala). We have to raise that on top of what we already had to pay. But it is a trip of a lifetime so I say, let him raise it. I would love to go there for that, but I heard about the trip itself for Habitat for Humanity and I would be very scared--it is going to be awfully hot and dry there. I am not sure I could handle the heat. Yeah, and this coming from the woman who spent the last 6 months saying she was too cold. Only in MN, I guess.
But I digress. I am making a bunch of grad and mother's day cards to sell for the fundraiser. I am not making them too fancy, more simple, so that I can make more of them. I am using stamps a lot for them. Easy to make a bunch all at once. If I have a lot left over, I can always donate them to places that give those things out.
Speaking of computer savvy, well, I have been trying to add some slideshow of favorite layouts and I cannot get it to work. I will keep trying. I figure, if I can add the butterflies (aren't they cute?!) I can figure out the slideshow from photo bucket. Well, I must get shuteye. Work awaits tomorrow. Love and hugs and happy scrapping!
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