Monday, April 28, 2008

quick little update

Just a quick one. Spent the day trying to rest up and dragging child #1 all over to the doctor. He is still sick. Thought it was Mono. All the signs point to that except the test is negative. Red ear though, so at least she put him on abx. I don't know if it will help, but the poor young man probably had the worst night of his life last night with bone chilling rigors (chills)--shaking the couch and teeth chattering.

I felt like crying for him. I laid next to him on the couch and wrapped him in towels and blankets and tried to give him my body heat and it did not work. Only as his fever climbed higher, did he get any relief from the chills. Yeah and then it was 102.9 and I was just about to take him to the ER when it broke and then he was able to eat and drink a bit and then he crashed. I crawled in bed about 5 minutes before my alarm went off. So needless to say, I did not go to work today. I will have to r/s my class too but hey, my kid comes first. Most definitely!

Spent some quality time with my daughter tonight. She went with me to the mall for B and B for body wash and the lotion that we like so much...mmmmmm cherry blossoms...mmmmm! We also went to VS for a few things as I had a coupon for a free item. Good girl's time though!

Ok, so I sent it off today. The DT email. I guess it can't be undone now. I don't want it to be. I would love it if I got it. I think it is a great site. A great site! Wonderful store. I usually check there first, before I order from other places, cause she usually has what I am looking for. I am trying to be positive. The worst case scenario is that I have my Mother and Father's day cards done and 4 awesome layouts to post in my gallery. If I get the spot, I will so pleased. What an awesome opportunity! Can't wait for May 5, 2008!

I got some Label Tulip goodness in the mail this weekend. Yummy, excellent goodness! Have not had a chance to play with it, but I have it all set for this weekend while I relax. Hopefully DS will be better so there are happy good feeling kids around again. So looking forward to some serious scrapping for this weekend. Can't wait. Got to head to bed though. DH is staying home with the kid tomorrow. I just cannot fathom him going through what he went through last night all alone tomorrow without anyone there. So DH has to be the one this time. DS may be almost 15, but he should not go through that alone. I so pray that he gets through this sooner rather then later. Adios! Love and hugs!

Friday, April 25, 2008

flying under the radar and why that is nice

Been feeling a lot of pressure lately. Usually at work, I can just come in, do my job, take care of my patients and go home. Besides feeling like I could work until 8 pm every night, I am feeling the pressure to be as good as people think I am. Let me explain. I do a good job at what I do. I am nurturing and a problem solver and am ingenious at finding ways to get things done in a system that is saran-wrapped in red tape that is the federal government.

Ok, so here is the thing. And it is big, to me. Ever since I found out that I was nominated for that award, I have been feeling pressure. To be as good as people must think I am because they nominated me ( and I must point out, that I do not know which coworker(s) did so). So I am making myself crazy trying to be amenable and flexible to everyone. Now granted, I am usually that way but now I feel I must keep it up at all times, so that those who shall not be named (and unknown to me), do not regret putting their nomination out there. That is messed up in my mind. I should continue doing what I do, as I do it, have been doing it, because that is what they saw in me in the first place.

So here I am, trying, trying to just be like I am, but I find myself walking taller, trying to be kinder, gentler, more flexible, anyway. And then on top of it, my boss is trying to write me up for a Nurse III--which is hard to get with a BAN, you almost have to have a Master's Degree to get this and she seems to think that she sees evidence that I am performing at that level. So here is more pressure. AND, now she writes my proficiency to say that I am outstanding in all degrees in my performance. So what am I griping about? If I get it, it means that I get a sizable raise and a whole lot of other doors open for me. So where is the gripe? They always say that the majority of people who are performing well are not recognized for their accomplishments, so why am I complaining?

I guess that is what I am trying to figure out. I think it stems from the fact that I am my own worst critic and that I still believe that deep down, I am not worth it. But to be truthful, I know that I have been working towards this moment for a long time. I have pushed myself to become a respected part of our facility. I am not a ladder climber. I have not squashed people on my way up the steps either. I pride myself on good patient care and all that that entails, including making the processes better. That is how I got here and I do not have anything to regret or feel guilty about. I just need to adjust to this. I know that I am afraid of getting a big head though. Why should I worry? Well, I kind of keep thinking about my weight loss as part of it. People take me more seriously now. They look at me more. When I was overweight, I could fly under the radar, and now all the sudden, people actually see me and it makes me nervous. I know I look better and more healthy everyday, even in my mind.

I am just scared to get a "she thinks she's all that" complex. I am not. I am perhaps the most humble person I know. And yet, here I am bringing this all out in the open. Well, besides the fact that there is only one or two people who actually read this, I find that that this is a good forum for me to put my thoughts out in a logical way. Perhaps I can type myself into a answer. Or not, but at least I have organized my thoughts for now. When computers were young, my dad had this psychology counseling program. You typed in your problem and the computer prompted you with openended questions until you got out what was bothering know...and how does THAT make you feel...what ELSE can you tell me about this...can you give EXAMPLES...and so on. So this is my therapy. Sure wish I got paid $50/hr to counsel myself, I'd be rich. LOL.

SO I guess I will leave off with these words of inspiration...NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE! =O) Love and hugs!

Thursday, April 24, 2008


Just a quick little blurb. Got called by #1 child this the nurse's office at school. Now I know he is sick. They do not let these kids out of school unless they are half dead. He was sick on Tuesday with a fever and sore throat. Thought it was a virus. But, it is most likely mono. Yay. Poor kid.

I know he does not get enough sleep, eat right or get enough sleep. Need I say more. Perhaps the NP got somewhere with him this time. He is resting right now and he even took the vitamins that I have been trying to get him to take. He has also won his right to a day away from school, and get this...he does not want to miss out...that is what makes me worried about how sick he is. His fever is pretty high, and he is taking advil every 4-6hrs so that helps.

#2 child is doing ok. We went to Target yesterday and got her a CD player alarm clock and some relaxation CD's so that she can sleep better. She reports that she is pretty down right now and I know that she is not sleeping real well these days so hopefully that will help her out. I hear her right now, flipping through the selections. She really likes the waves and ocean one we got her, and we got her rain and thunder and then 2 Celtic relaxation and sleep CD's. They are pretty good. I really like the Celtic sound. So does DH. We listened to one of the CD's last night on the way home and he said "we better stop listening, I could get to relaxed and fall asleep while driving". It was relaxing.

I guess that is all. I have been playing around on the computer, putting together an email for a contest that I am entering. Yes, I am going to try to enter that design team contest for an online scrapbook store. I am pretty excited about it. It is the first time that I have done this but I have some great layouts that I am proud of and am excited to share. I am sure that the competition is pretty strong for these spots and I wish all that try out the best of wishes. I will be excited to see what happens!

Tomorrow is Friday. Yay! Eventhough I fear I will be working late at the hospital as I had to leave in a hurry to pick #2 child up and take him to the doctor. Tomorrow will bring what tomorrow will bring. Love and hugs.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

computer savvy?

I scrapped today. Not as much as I would like but some. I had some fun with the Cuttlebug die I just bought. It the cutest little 2 part butterfly that you have ever seen. I cut up a bunch of scraps and just played with them. I took a picture so hopefully I can add those to this site. How fun would that be. Again, here is the computer savvy. Oh, look, I added them at the top of the post. They are there. Aren't they cute! I think I am addicted to butterflies these days. Love these!

I have been creative today though. I made a bunch of cards for the garage sale at my son's school and for conferences. They want to raise another 231 dollars for the kids to go see Tikal (ancient Mayan ruins in Guatemala). We have to raise that on top of what we already had to pay. But it is a trip of a lifetime so I say, let him raise it. I would love to go there for that, but I heard about the trip itself for Habitat for Humanity and I would be very scared--it is going to be awfully hot and dry there. I am not sure I could handle the heat. Yeah, and this coming from the woman who spent the last 6 months saying she was too cold. Only in MN, I guess.

But I digress. I am making a bunch of grad and mother's day cards to sell for the fundraiser. I am not making them too fancy, more simple, so that I can make more of them. I am using stamps a lot for them. Easy to make a bunch all at once. If I have a lot left over, I can always donate them to places that give those things out.
Speaking of computer savvy, well, I have been trying to add some slideshow of favorite layouts and I cannot get it to work. I will keep trying. I figure, if I can add the butterflies (aren't they cute?!) I can figure out the slideshow from photo bucket. Well, I must get shuteye. Work awaits tomorrow. Love and hugs and happy scrapping!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

feeling a bit poor today

Ok, so I was up until 1030pm last night. Finishing printing the taxes to file today. Yes, I had to pay in this year. I actually cried like a baby about it for a mintue or two. I usually do not have too much issues with taxes but a lump sum is supposed to be coming to me, not going out of my account. Don't worry, I will be changing withholding soon, to rectify it. We are average joes and expendable irs payments are not always available. I wiped out a good portion of our savings to pay it. That in itself, feels bad. A doctor I work with says that I should feel good that I made ENOUGH $ last year to have to pay taxes but I disagree, I just think it was poor planning on my part to not have changed my withholding on my second job. I will fix it.

Enough about taxes. I am on to a mini vacation tonight until Monday. I work the second job, tomorrow and then I am just hanging at home and scrapbooking. I have a few chores planned but each and every one of them will be done with the reward of a good long scrapbooking stint. That is my reward and my relaxation.

I am toying with trying out for a design team. I really happen to like this particular site, and the people there, on the message board, are very nice and the store (online) is pretty awesome. The owner seems to have a good inventory and usually does not run out of things really fast and it seems like she gets the latest and greatest in there and usually puts in sale right away, not to mention that she has the right mix for me, of things that I usually like to buy. I have ordered from there before, several times, and really like it. I was once looking for a particular AC item, and she had it, and other places did not and I got it for less than I might have other places. But then again, I really like the smaller stores too, it seems more personable. Check it out: As far as the design team, well, I am not sure if I would try it, giving it some serious thought, I mean, one never knows until one tries. I can't hardly sit on the sidelines if I am itching to put myself out there.

I have never entered anything before in this way before. I have entered contests. I have entered challenges. I have won a few contests but never actually entered a DT contest. I have wanted to, started the assignments, but then was not finishing because I was not confident enough. But I really feel like I have gotten somewhere with my confidence and have my comfort with my own work at some point in the last year. Actually, I think it was about November, after a long stretch of a creative mojo block, that things started to feel more right in my creative world. Now I think differently about it and I do not feel the block. I only feel the wonderful urge to play with paper and glue and all the fun embellishments that I have!

I must, I must, work until it is over for the week! I will be back later this week, hopefully with pictures of recent fun stuff I have done! Love and hugs!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Finally, Good at something

Ok, so I am kind of good at a lot of things but have never been spectacular at anything. Well, yesterday I got an invitation for Nurse's week saying that I have been nominated for an Ecellence in Nursing Award at my hospital. I guess that means that one or more coworker believes that I am doing a good job in my position. I was surprised, pleased, honored, etc that I was nominated.

The award will be given out on May 6, 2008. I do not know who else has been nominated for this, but even if I DO NOT get the actual award, I am incredibly honored to be recognized. I feel kind of like I am tooting my own horn, and feel like I am bragging, but it is a coveted award at my hospital, and I have always wanted to be THAT GOOD at what I do that someone would think I am worthy enough to take the time to fill out the form/write an essay to explain what they see good about my work. I am happy and heartwarmed at the fact that I have been nominated! That is all I wanted to say!

Every thing is status quo. Having inlaws here later this week. Kind of putting a stop in my chance to post some things on my blog such as some recent layouts, but I guess I will get that done later, after they leave. I also have to finish taxes and work this weekend. I am formulating some ideas in my head regarding layouts and will work on them when I have a bit more time! Looking forward to Studio Calico kit today. I will not be able to work on anything, but fondling the paper/embellishments in the kit will boost my mood! Love and hugs!

Monday, April 7, 2008

Well I am on to the next stage of April, after-Texas visit stage. I have spent the last hour putting away my clothes, and that prompted me to purge my dresser and closet again. After losing so much weight, I am constantly having to buy new/used things (that fit) and then I do not have a place for them. So I purged. 3 big garbage bags full...seems like a lot but I got rid of dress clothes, uniforms, sweats and other things that I did not purge last fall.

Part of me wanted to hold onto some of those things but they are all relatively big on me and I cannot and will not EVER fit in those again. I have vowed. The big clothes are BUBBYE--SEEYA~! If I were to keep them I could easily slip back into them at some point if I gain a few and then I will let myself go..not going to let that happen.

It is kind of like scrapbook supplies. Some things are so pretty/neat/cool that I find myself NOT using them--saving them per say. Yeah, and then 1 year later, I am still holding on to them and the excitement of having them, possessing the latest/greatest has worn off or it is seen everywhere that it is nothing new and then I don't want to use them then. SO here is to using what I have right now. RIGHT NOW. Open those packages and use somethings that I have been hoarding/coveting, etc and don't save for a rainy day. I will have to keep it up.

Coming home was fun. I am definitely on the kitties' shit list though. Sadie especially! She is going to really make me work for her affection. Torrie is doing it too. What is up with that? Puddin is the only one who is loving and welcoming to me. Maybe I will just ignore them until they come to me and just love up Puddin, who is gracious enough to let me know that he REALLY did miss me. The kids and Dave missed me too and I missed them. They are like Puddin though, they let me know how much they missed me. HMMMMPH...Sadie, you should take note of how you should welcome your mmommmy home. LOL---my son says I am a crazy cat lady, maybe he's right...Hahahaha. got to go. Gotta finish putting away all my scrap stuff that I brought from Texas. When I get situated, I will post some stuff I have done in scrapbooking lately. Love and hugs! Lara

Sunday, April 6, 2008

A birth of a blog

I am trying to move into the 21st century with a blog. I can do this. I am not a technological geek nor can I proclaim that I can navigate anything other than windows. I mean, I have the clinical applications coordinator and the computer help desks at work on speed dial and THEY all know me by name. We even exchange Christmas cards...LOL.

To get to know me...I am an RN at a busy Minneapolis hospital. I love my job and love being a nurse. I am a mom of 2 children...almost 13 and 15. They are the lights of my life and provide me with enough comic relief that I get my healthy dose of belly laughs in, every day. I am a wife of 15 years, and that in itself is a reason to need the belly laughs. Just kidding dear, I love ya!

I have a passion for scrapbooking. I love anything paper and glue. It soothes me, relaxes me, and keeps me from becoming a medical/nursing geek. It shows the fun, creative side to me. Or at least I think it does. I used to teach some classes at my LSS-the Scrapbook Shop of St. Paul which is a really great store with wonderfully creative people. I got away from teaching about a year ago, and am just pleased to scrap for myself. I enter contests occasionally on line, just to keep my creative mojo going.

I share my hobby with my sister, Jacquie. She is the true creative wonder. Her style is incredible. You can see her work here at her blog. I am here with her right now. She lives in Texas and today is the last day of a 5 day visit with her. We shopped and scrapped and had a great time. I am sad to go home today, but judging the way the kids and the hubby are texting me, they miss me, and it is time to go back to reality. I am good with that. I wish I could come and visit every few months though, we have so much fun. I will post pics when I have a bit more time and a better net connection...wireless connect is low on my laptop down here.

I also am really into fitness. For those that know me, then you know that I just recently lost about 65 lbs. I am trying to lose the last 20 lbs and keep it off. That keeps me busy. Just so you know, I am having an affair with my Y's Cross Ramp Eliptical machine...(love you # 9, 10, and 11...kisses, I will see you tomorrow!) My hubby is aware of the affair, and guess what, he is ok with that...go figure?!

Well, got to go on to hanging with my sister for the last few hours of my visit. Will be back later. Have a good one! Love and hugs, Lara